He sounds a bit like your proverbial grandma cautioning that a man will never buy the cow if he’s getting the milk for free.like: “She wishes to be a free rider—in this case, to find a good man—without contributing to the kinds of normative relationship behavior that make men better. It can’t work.”He goes on: “In the domain of sex and relationships men will act as nobly as women collectively demand.This is an aggravating statement for women to read, no doubt.If that doesn’t work out, there’s always porn, which requires next to no effort to find.
But now that sex before marriage and sex outside of relationships is common, safe, and less stigmatized, men don’t have to work as hard for it, according to Regnerus.
Regnerus quotes the famous psychologists Roy Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs, who write that “giving young men easy access to abundant sexual satisfaction deprives society of one of its ways to motivate them to contribute valuable achievements to the culture.” Still, it seems extreme to suggest that men need to be dragged by the dick into being productive citizens.
Overall, sexual economics discounts the other things men and women have to offer each other—besides sex and “resources” and commitment.
This forces women to be choosier about who they say yes to.
Even if they also swipe with abandon, they end up with more matches to sort through—yet more gatekeeping.
Still, there is a lot in Regnerus’s analysis that is uncomfortably astute.